Are you aware of what negative self-talk really sounds like? It can be so subtle that you don’t realize just how much you’re doing it throughout your day. Many times, we may think we’re just speaking or thinking on what’s “true” of us and our current reality; but this notion is what keeps us in an unconscious loop of negative self-talk.
Something as simple as “I’m a shy person” can be considered negative self-talk. But how? You may ask. Because you may not want to be a shy person, it may be bothersome to you. You may really want to be more outgoing, open, and sociable. So, as you can see, this is why we can be speaking negatively about ourselves without realizing it. Now, if you love being a shy person then this wouldn’t apply to you because you wouldn’t view it as a negative.
In essence, negative self-talk is speaking anything against yourself that is undesirable to you. It’s not always as direct as “I hate myself”. Again, it can sound like “I’m always so tired”. One is more noticeable, the other is subtle.
Below are a few tips on how to overcome negative self-talk:
Become more self-aware
If you’ve been following me for some time or read any of my other blogs, you know 99.9% of the time I start with Self-Awareness – because you can’t change something that you’re not aware of. This is the first step to anything. How can you overcome negative self-talk if you’re not aware of when you’re doing it?
Take some time to write down the thoughts you have about yourself that you deem are negative (remember to pay close attention to the subtle thoughts). What are the things you are thinking or speaking about yourself that you no longer desire to be true?
The beauty in this is the more aware you become, you will be able to catch yourself in the moment when you are saying something that goes against your desired state of being.
Polarize yourself
Now that you’re aware of how you’ve been unconsciously speaking negatively about yourself, it’s time to operate in the Law of Polarity, which means you want to change your negatives into positives. Who do you truly want to be? How would you like to view yourself? What traits and characteristics do you aspire to have?
The answer to these questions will be your new thought forms that will transform your negative self-talk into positive self-talk.
This is where most people begin to use affirmations to start rewiring their brain. Affirmations are a great way to shift your perspective of yourself. Many people give up on affirmations because they don’t immediately feel the truth of what they are speaking. However, you must know what you’re really up against.
Your old beliefs about yourself are what you’ve been hypnotized by, feeling and experiencing for x amount of years. You don’t know how much you’ve normalized your current mindset until you start to step out of it. From an energetic standpoint, you are quite literally stepping out of an old version of yourself and into a new one.
You’ve never felt what it feels like to be this new person; to speak and think more highly of yourself so of course it would initially feel foreign to you.
You are speaking a new version of yourself into being with your positive self-talk so give yourself some time to move into the feeling of it. Even if you feel crazy or nothing at all while speaking your affirmations: Say. It. Anyway. The feeling will come.
Shifting from negative self-talk to positive self-talk inherently means that you’re changing your belief system. You are believing something different about yourself.
Meditate
Now that you have a clearer vision of who you aspire to be, meditate on that version of you. This is a sacral time that also rewires your brain into what you are focusing on. Meditating will also boost the feeling of naturalness from the positive affirmations you are now speaking about yourself.
By embodying this naturalness, you will start to actually believe you are this new person. Your negative self-talk will continue to decrease and when it does show up it’ll be easier to get rid of it or better yet not buy into it.
Become your own best friend
Think about it, if the negative things you speak and believe about yourself were an actual person you would most likely not want to deal with them. When a person speaks negatively about you, you typically would defend yourself. You wouldn’t continue to be around someone that speaks badly about you all day every day, so why do it to yourself?
The same way you would cut that negative friend off is the same way you need to cut off those negative thoughts. It’s time to turn your inner enemy into your inner best friend.
How would your best friend speak to you? Would they encourage you? Give you wise words of advice? Lovingly tell you the truth? This is what you need to start doing for yourself. Speak more highly of yourself to yourself. Give yourself grace when you make a mistake. Love on yourself from the inside out.
