*Singing* Self-destruction, you’re headed for self-destruction. Self-destruction, you’re headed for self-destruction. Who remembers that song by the Stop the Violence Movement from back in the 80’s? This song was created by a group of rappers as a response to the violence within the African American communities as well as hip hop. No doubt that there are levels to self-destruction that can do more harm than good. But ya’ll know me, I always look at the polarity of concepts to find its more constructive side.
In order to create something new within you, you’re inevitably destroying a part of yourself simultaneously.
With that being said, self-destruction can actually be a good thing as it pertains to self-improvement. They are yin and yang to one another and honestly can’t exist without each other. There are levels to self-destruction and when understood from a higher perspective, it can yield great benefits for you. So, before you turn your nose up, keep reading and be open to a different perspective.
The study of the ‘Self’
The best way to gain greater understanding of the Self is to see it as separate from you. Usually we use words like ‘myself’ and ‘yourself’ when in actuality it should be written as ‘my self’ and ‘your self’. When it’s viewed in this way you can see that you are not necessarily your “self” but the creator of your “self”. Once the Self is created you then embody and become it, but it is always changeable.
But when you claim the Self as who you are at your core instead of the creator of it; you place yourself in a box and transformation and growth becomes difficult for you. The Self is comprised of all of your personality traits. Your personality traits can come from a variety of sources such as your DNA, environment, society, school teachers, etc.
You don’t realize as a child that all of this information is being unconsciously programmed within you from these sources. So, once you become an adult your Self is already formed and herein lies the statement “This is just who I am.” Now, here you are as an adult trying to achieve certain goals, maintain relationships and just basically live life and wonder why you struggle in certain areas.
You grow more disgruntled with life and other people without really analyzing that it could be your ‘Self’ that’s causing it all. It sounds like this is the time when you could use a little *clears throat* Self-destruction.
Related article: The Three Levels of Self-Realization: Which level are you?
Destruction of your old ‘Self’
This is where destruction to your ‘Self’ becomes greatly beneficial for you. It does not mean that you beat on yourself, use drugs or do anything that would cause physical harm to yourself. But what it does mean is you figuratively begin the process of killing off your old ‘self’. The destruction process of your old self is likened to going through a metamorphosis. It is the ridding of your ‘self’ of old habits and personality traits that is blocking you from achieving the lifestyle you envision for yourself.
This process requires you to truly get to know your ‘Self’ so that you can become more aware of your blind spots. Self-awareness and Self-reflection are the two imperative tools you’ll need to guide you through this process.
You may not have had much control over the programming that took place as a child. But as an adult it is now your responsibility. You must build up a new ‘Self’ that embodies the characteristics or personality traits that aligns you with your desired lifestyle.
Side Note: Notice the connection in the word’s characteristics and personality. Part of the word in ‘personality’ is persona. Meaning the same thing as character. Both reflect a role or image that is played out by someone. This further proves the point that our ‘Self’ is not fixed but flexible and malleable. We are all just playing a character, and just as with any other actors our roles can change.
I suggest making a list of the new traits you wish to reprogram your ‘Self’ with. Make sure that the list is focused on new ways of being and not things to do.
Be ready for war
As you go through this metamorphosis there will be a kick back. Your old ‘Self’ doesn’t just die off easily. Think about it, majority of us have been a certain way for at least 30+ years so you’re not going to instantly shift overnight.
The most challenging part of this process is when you reach the step of implementation. Implementation requires us to actually embody these new traits; to wear our new traits everyday just as we put on new clothes daily. This is where the war begins between your new ‘Self’ and your old ‘Self’. Your old self wants to continue to respond and react in the same old ways. Repetition and Self discipline is the only way to conquer this. It will be uncomfortable, I can tell you that right now. Just as it may initially be uncomfortable wearing those new pair of shoes until you wear them a couple times and “break them in”.
The new ‘Self’
You new ‘Self’ has to be broken in. Again, self-awareness is the major key because you can catch yourself in moments when you see your old ‘Self’ rearing its ugly head. I touch on this in my book “Becoming the Master of Your Mind: The beginning path to deliberate co-creation. I call it the “Silent Pause Effect” which allows you to see how your mind will automatically begin to run on autopilot to create a pattern of your old thoughts. This usually induces a flare-up of the familiar feelings you would normally feel in a given situation. Which will ultimately end in a predictable physical or emotional response or reaction.
Once this happens you will ultimately find yourself in the same conditions you’ve been experiencing. But when you heighten your self-awareness you are able to put a stop to this old pattern and create a new experience by responding in the form of your new ‘Self’.
What I’ve shared is still only the tip of the iceberg. There are so many layers to be uncovered on this topic, however I’m here to help you through your process if you’re interested.
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